This story is dedicated to Alexandria who sent me generous feedback and wished to exchange emails with me. Unfortunately my response to the email was sent back as an undelivered email and so I hope this will serve as my reply for the time being.
Anne spoke into the phone agitatedly, “Marion, I’ve got to talk to you, something terrible has happened can I come over and see you?”
“No, I’ll come to you Anne, I was coming anyway. Is it really that bad?”
“I don’t know…I’ve done something…darling I can’t tell you over the phone.”
“Be with you in half an hour,” Marion said, “and you can tell me all about it.”
Anne put the receiver down and went to the drinks cabinet and poured herself a brandy, wanting to stiffen her resolve before she made her confession to Marion.
Marion was her sister and a couple of years older than Anne, and Anne had always used her as a sounding board for ideas and a sort of mother confessor. She would listen quietly, ask questions and was never judgemental. This time however Anne had something to confess that to her seemed the most terrible thing she’d ever told Marion.
Over the next half hour Anne wavered between regretting that she’d called Marion and the need to make her confession. The wavering ceased when the doorbell rang and she let Marion in, all would be well now big sister was here.
Knowing from past experience the state Anne could get into when she had something serious to relate Marion put her arm round Anne and said, “Come on darling, let’s go and sit in the lounge and you can tell me all about it.”
Seated in the lounge Marion said, “Well, what is it?”
Anne had rehearsed in her mind what she would say to Marion, but now she said lamely, “I don’t know how to tell you, it’s so…so…er…difficult.”
Thinking that Anne’s difficulties were rarely as thorny as she thought they were Marion said, “Why not start at the beginning and we can go on from there.”
“It’s…David,” Anne said hesitantly.
“Oh, what’s he done, got caught for speeding, drunk driving, rape, murder?” Marion asked somewhat facetiously.
“Please, Marion, it’s serious and you know David isn’t like that, he wouldn’t…”
“I know darling, I’m sorry but I just can’t imagine David doing anything really dreadful, so what is it?”
Anne started to cry and said, “He’s…he’s left home.”
Surprised Marian said, “Oh, why?”
“He says he can’t live with me anymore.”
“You’ve had a row?”
“Yes…no…yes…well sort of,” Anne sobbed.
“Make up your mind dear, is it yes or no? David isn’t the sort to just up and leave you for no reason, especially as you’ve been so close after you broke up with Ted.”
“As if it’s not bad enough to break up with a husband now I lose a son,” Anne wailed.
“Come on Anne,” Marion said encouragingly, “just tell me what it’s about and we’ll see if we can’t mend it.”
“You won’t be disgusted?”
“Tell me and I’ll find out if I’m disgusted,” Marion said.
“If I tell you, you won’t tell anyone else, will you?”
“Have I ever told anyone when you’ve…?”
“No…no…I’m sorry Marion, of course you wouldn’t tell.”
“So shall we get it over with?”
“Yes…yes, but it’s just that it’s hard to say.”
Marion remained silent waiting for the revelation.
“David he…he tried to…to make love with me.”
It came out in a rush, “He tried to have sex with me.”
Unsurprised Marion said, “Ah, I see, and you said no?”
“Not exactly,” Anne sobbed.
Marion put her arm round Anne and said, “Now calm down darling, it’s not the start of the third world war; just tell me what exactly did happen.”
Hesitantly Anne said, “We…we were sitting here just like we are now, he had his arm round me and he said he loved me and then he kissed me.”
“That’s not so unusual,” Marion said calmly, “a lot of boys love their mother and kiss them so…”
“But Marion, you don’t understand, it wasn’t an ordinary kiss, it was…was…”
“Yes, very; you know with his mouth open.”
“And you told him to stop?”
Anne started to sob again as she said, “That’s just it Marion, I didn’t stop him, I even kissed him back.”
“In the same way?”
Anne’s head drooped as she replied almost inaudibly, “Yes.”
“He touched my breasts.”
“Did he?” Marion said, trying to hide a smile, “did you try and stop him then?”
“Oh Marion that’s the terrible thing, you see I…I didn’t want him to stop, I wanted him to touch my breasts and kiss me and…and…”
“And fu…make love with you?”
“Oh yes Marion, am I depraved, a wicked mother, I actually wanted him to do it with me?”
“If you are depraved,” Marion said thoughtfully, “then I think there are quite a few depraved mothers around, especially those in similar situations as us.”
“But with my son?”
“Frankly Anne, I can hardly blame him or you. You’re a very attractive woman and he’s a very nice kızılay escort looking boy, living together the way you do it doesn’t surprise me. The only thing that does surprise me is that one of you didn’t try before.”
“But Marion,” Anne said aghast, “mother and…and son!”
Marion ignored that comment and asked, “Have you known for long that David has had this thing for you?”
“Well, I think it really started after his father left; David was seventeen then and he started to get very affectionate, if you know what I mean.”
“And you, Anne, you’ve admitted you wanted him to go all the way with you, how long have you been getting horny over him?”
“I suppose soon after I realised he got horny…I mean, when I saw him getting sexually aroused over me.”
“And you’ve waited nearly two years before anything happened?”
“Yes…oh Marion, what am I going to do.”
“I think you’d better tell me the rest of the story.”
“The rest of…oh I see, you mean him leaving?”
Yes, you got up to where he was touching your breasts; where they covered or exposed?”
“You mean…oh well, I did undo some buttons so he could…but it wasn’t that, it was when he…he put his hand down here,” Anne said, indicating her crotch, “and started to feel me there I…I stopped him.”
“You stopped him! You let the poor boy get that far and you stopped him?”
“Yes, it would have been incest if I’d let him do…you know what I mean.”
“Oh yes, I know what you mean, and after that he left?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t really nasty; we didn’t have row or anything like that. He just said he couldn’t live with me anymore because if he did he would probably try again and obviously that wasn’t what I wanted and there’d always be tension between us, and…and so he left.”
Anne started to cry again but Marion said, “Pull your self together Anne, you seem to think that you’re the only mother whose ever been seduced by her son and enjoyed it…as far as it went.”
“Doesn’t it bother you Marion?” Anne sniffed.
Marion handed her a large handkerchief and said, “Blow you nose. No it doesn’t bother me…well in a way it does because you’ve been so foolish Anne.”
“Don’t call me foolish, Marion,” Anne sniffed, “all I’ve done is stop something bad happening.”
Marion laughed and said, “I call it foolish because you’ve behaved foolishly. You should have either stopped it before it really got started or let it go all the way. Oh yes, you’ve stopped something happening, something you both wanted, and if that’s stopping something bad, okay, you’ve paid the price, David’s gone.”
“Well what would you have done big sister?” Anne said abruptly.
There was a long pause as Marion looked at Anne thoughtfully, and then she said, “All right, you’ve told me about you and David, and now I’ll tell you something that you can keep quiet about.”
It was not often that Marion confided her secrets, and intrigued Anne asked, “What?”
Marion took a deep breath and said, “What do you think Peter and I have been doing almost since Lester and I broke up?”
“I don’t know…you….” Anne broke of as she realised. “Oh my God, you don’t mean that you and Peter have been…are…are…?”
“Lovers? Of course we are, and we didn’t wait two years to get started.”
“But he’s your son!”
“Yes…yes…he’s my son and we go to bed together and not only to sleep,” Marion said blithely.
“I’ll tell you why Anne,” Marion said, “because we love each other and he’s the best….the most exciting sex I’ve ever had, and he says I’m the best, and he doesn’t just do it once a week, it’s every night, that’s why Anne; so now you know.”
“But Marion if…”
“No buts Anne; I said you’ve been foolish and I mean it. Think of what you’ve told me. You and David love each other, for two years you’ve wanted, as you put it, to make love with him, and when the chance comes you pass it up; and the consequence? You’ve not only lost a son, but a lover as well, and that seems crazy to me.”
“You mean I should have…we should have…have made love?”
“I can’t tell you what to do Anne, I can only put the situation to you and you must make up your own mind, just as I made up mine about Peter. Where has David gone?”
“I don’t know, he wouldn’t say, he just said it was better if we didn’t see each other for a while, and I wonder if he’s eating properly and changing his underwear every day and coping with his studies and…”
“And all the other mummy worries,” Marion said acidly. “Do you want him back?”
“Of course I do, I love him and that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”
“Well I can’t bring him back Anne, but I think I can guarantee one thing, if he loves you then within a week he’ll be on the phone to you and you’ll have the chance to persuade him to come home. It shouldn’t be too difficult as long as you let your female instincts have their way; understand what I mean?”
Anne nodded mutely and Marion said, “What about kızılay escort bayan a cup of tea?”
* * * * * * * *
Anne thought long and hard about what Marion had said, especially her revelation about her and Peter. “Would it be so bad?” Anne asked herself, and by the time Marion’s prediction came true that David would call within a week proved correct – in fact it was within four days that he called – it was a more stress-free Anne who answered the phone.
“Darling, this is so pointless,” she said,
“You know why I had to leave mum,” he said, “it was best for both of us.”
“I know darling but I didn’t want you to leave, we could have talked about it, worked things out. Why don’t you come home?”
There was a long pause and Anne said, “David, are you still there?”
“Yes…yes I’m still here. Do you really want me to come home?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
“Knowing how I feel about you?”
“Yes, knowing how you feel about me; where are you staying?”
“I’ve crashed at Ned’s place.” David chuckled and added, “It’s not very comfortable.”
“Then for goodness sake come home,” Anne pleaded, “and we can get things straight between us.”
“Are you sure mum? I love you and I don’t want to…”
“Just come home darling,” Anne said, “and everything will be all right, I promise.”
“Okay,” David said, “as long as you’re sure.”
Anne smiled to herself and said, “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life darling.”
David sounded relieved as he said, “Ah, home comforts.”
“Yes darling, all the comforts of home,” Anne said almost inaudibly.
“I’ll be home tomorrow evening,” David replied.
“I’ll be waiting for you,” Anne said, a tremor of anticipation flowing through her that seemed to find its focus in her nipples and vagina.
* * * * * * * *
At work the following day Anne was barely able to concentrate as she anticipated David’s arrival that evening. Her vagina was constantly wet and her nipples erect. By the time she got home she was tortured by that potent combination of lust and love and was trembling with anticipation.
Instead of her usually shower she took a long bath and after inspecting her self in the long mirror decided that she looked as good as she was ever likely to get. After going over her wardrobe she chose a simple wrap that loosely enfolded her body and inspected her self again
It was a cool evening and before leaving the bedroom she turned on the electric heater. She then made her way to the living room and tried to relax as she waited for David.
Relaxation was impossible. Her whole body seemed to be geared up for the act of love she was anticipating. Restless she picked up ornaments and put them down again, picked imagined pieces of fluff from the carpet, turned on the television and then turned it of again. In a sudden panic she started to make her way to the bedroom to change from the filmy wrap into something less revealing, and then changed her mind again.
Her eyes went constantly to the clock and then to her wristwatch, he was late, he wasn’t coming home; he’d changed his mind. She cursed herself for telling Marion, and cursed Marion for revealing her relationship with Peter. By telling her about Peter Marion had shown her that there was freedom of choice and the old incest taboo need not bind her.
Then Anne started to curse freedom; it was a curse and not a blessing because by exercising her freedom she also had to take responsibility. “It’s easier to be told what to do and think,” she told herself.
Marion had told her to let her female instincts have their way, and one part of her instincts were driving her towards fulfilling her love for David in an act of sexual love, while another part of her feared what might be the outcome.
She could be confident when her defences were intact, but in the intimacy of love making it is a different matter. Naked under the gaze of a lover the imperfections are revealed, the flaws, not only physical but also emotional, that is exposed in a time of sexual intimacy, and is weighed against the alleged ideal models presented to us endlessly in the media by those who seek to make money out of us.
What would David see when she was naked in his presence? She wondered if she might keep the wrap on so that she was not completely exposed and he would not see what the years had done to her body. He might be repulsed, he wouldn’t want her and she would be humiliated.
In the midst of these negative thoughts she heard the sound of David’s key in the front door lock. She almost ran into the entrance hall to see David standing there holding his travelling bag. Negativity fled to the far corners of the universe, he was here in the flesh.
David dropped his grip and turned to her. Anne went to him and twined her arms round his neck pulling him close and David’s arms went round her waist; it was as if they would melt into each other.
Anne could feel that hardness of his erection against her stomach; he must escort kızlay have been thinking about, and that erect penis was all she needed to know.
“Mother,” he said as if it was a speech he had rehearsed, “I have to tell you I haven’t changed, I still feel about you the same way and talking won’t…”
“Shush darling,” Anne said, “It’ all right, I was foolish, I should have let you…I wanted you to but I was frightened but it’s all right now, come…come with me…”
Her fears gone Anne’s emotions were in full flood. She loved him, she wanted him, she wanted him as she’d never wanted a man before; the time of her sexual abstention was over – that endless time.
She drew him slowly to her bedroom and standing before David she said softly, “I love you David, I want you…I need you…oh God I need you so much.”
She let her garment drop to the floor and stood before him naked. His eyes took in her body, her breasts and the hint of firmly cleft vulva.
Under his gaze her fears returned. How could he love a woman nearly twenty years older than him, and she his mother? What was he seeing as he looked at her? She had been a fool to fling herself at him as soon as he arrived, it was almost contemptible. So her thoughts ran until David spoke.
“Mother, I love you, you’re so beautiful.”
She had never believed that she was beautiful, but what did it matter if David saw her as such? “Love is like that,” she thought, “it doesn’t see the imperfections, it sees only what is loved.”
“Are you going to…to…undress?” she asked hesitantly, unsure whether this was something she should ask.
For a moment she had a vision of Marion and Peter and their first time making love. Knowing Marion she visualised her tearing Peter’s clothes off as well as her own.
David seemed almost as uncertain as Anne as he slowly undressed. When he was naked it was Anne’s turn to gaze. If she had doubts about her own beauty she had no doubt about his; his strong body and handsome looks and his manhood standing up long and firm with its purple engorged head.
Even now there was hesitation and David asked, “Mother, are you sure about this?”
“I’m as sure as I’ve ever been about anything darling, but you, are you sure. Once it’s done there’s no going back and we’ll never be able to be quite as we have been in the past?”
“Mother, I love you,” David replied, “and you know how much I’ve wanted you.”
“Yes I know darling,” Anne replied, “and I love you.” Doubts fled again and Anne knew it was right that they should fulfil their mutual love.
David’s hands enfolded her breasts and he bent to kiss each nipple in turn.
Anne was trembling with hot desire for him, her vagina leaking her fluid of love. “Darling, I need you so badly, don’t make me wait this time, do it to me now.”
David’s reply was to ease her on to the bed. She parted her legs to display the engorged lips of her wet vulva and the David was over her, probing with his penis for the entrance to her vagina. As she guided him in and felt the slow penetration of his length she sighed, “So good darling…so good…”
Anne had been used to rough usage during sexual intercourse that had often left her with raw nipples and bruises over other parts of her body. That David was so gentle and had so readily agreed to her plea for immediate penetration surprised and delighted her, and as they both moved towards orgasm she gave herself up to him, meeting his downward lunges with upward thrusts of her hips, causing maximum penetration.
She felt the first warnings of her approaching orgasm and her body tensed as she both longed for and feared the pain and ecstasy that would soon take control of her. It came, powerful and born of long deprivation and frustration. As it climbed to its peak she moaned, “Yes…yes…oh my love…my darling…deeper…deeper…”
She felt David drive into her fiercely and the first jolt of his semen against the top of her vagina. With every succeeding expulsion of his seed David cried out, “I love you…I love you…”
Anne was swept with waves of sheer pleasure as she slowly came down from the heights and David continued to thrust into her. As they came out breathlessly onto the plain of post-coital peace David stayed with her until kissing her deeply he withdrew his penis from her vagina. They lay side by side for several minutes, unmoving and unspeaking, each trying to come to terms with what they had done.
David moved to kiss Anne and lay his hand on one of her breasts. “No regrets?” he asked.
She smiled at him, “No regrets darling.”
Caressing one breast with his hand David took the nipple of the other breast into his mouth and sucked. Anne lay back, luxuriating in the sheer sensual joy of his stimulation. She stroked his hair as he began to kiss and lick his way down her body until reaching her groin he moved to kneel between her legs.
She knew that their combined fluids were oozing from her vagina and knowing he must see this she feared he would find her distasteful. Then to her amazement he drew her legs over his shoulders and her genitals were completely exposed to him.
He leaned forward and to her astonishment she felt the tip of his tongue touch the lips of her vulva. “He can’t…he can’t…I’m full of his cum,” she told herself. But David could and did.