Dealing with Change Ch. 09

Amateur

This is the ninth chapter is a series of stories about a recently retired couple in their mid-forties who have found themselves with free time and money they never had before and have set out to improve their cooking, gardening, golf, exercise, and all the other usual things we all promise to do for ourselves if we ever have the time and money. Sharon and Rich have also set out to improve their sex life which has over the course of their 25-year marriage become almost non-existent. The prior chapters describe a series of sexual experiences they have had as they opened “Pandora’s Box” as they refer to the universe of human sexual practices and perversions.

This chapter, more so than the prior postings in this series, is a continuation of the events of the prior chapter and it may be helpful to the reader to have read at least Chapter 8 before this one. As with prior chapters Sharon is the narrator except for two sections identified with italic font in which Rich acts as the narrator. Enjoy.

“What? You want me to have sex with your husband?” I exclaimed.

I was sitting up in bed wrapped loosely in a sheet looking at my next-door neighbor Jill who was sitting naked in an armchair opposite me. We had spent the morning and the early afternoon engaged in lesbian sex, not that either of us were practicing lesbians. Over lunch and a good deal of wine we had discussed how to maintain our newfound relationship without destroying our marriages. But with the effect of the wine we gave up our discussion for another romp in bed followed by a long nap. Now it appeared that Jill had given the problem more thought while waiting for me to wake-up.

Jill and her husband Cam had only recently moved into the home next door. However we had been friends for more than twenty years. She and Cam had lived next door to Rich and me some twenty years ago before they moved to the East Coast. But today’s fucking was a new feature of our relationship.

I wasn’t that I was concerned about Rich objecting to my sleeping with Cam . Rich and I had recently agreed to have an open marriage and he was in fact currently in Oregon having an assignation with a woman from Idaho that he occasionally spent illicit time with at a cabin on the Oregon coast. I had even taken a selfie of Jill and I scissoring that I intended to send to him. But what Jill’s husband Cam would think was a different matter. He and Jill had, with one exception for Cam that nearly ended their marriage, maintained a monogamous relationship for twenty plus years.

The solution Jill and I had decided upon over lunch was to convert her monogamous relationship with Cam and my open relationship with Rich to a foursome that lived next door to each other. After all how could our husbands object to Jill and I having sex if they were having sex with ‘us’—that is the ‘us’ they weren’t married to and with the ‘us’ they were married to. Simple, right? A perfect solution we thought after nearly two bottles of wine and some very satisfactory fucking. What could go wrong?

Of course as with the perfect solution to any complex problem the devil was in the details. Just how were we going to convince Cam that this new domestic relationship was a good idea? It seemed a good idea to me. Cam was good looking, tall and lean, showing none of the modest and personally annoying weight gain the rest of our foursome had encountered over twenty plus years.

“Really? That’s your plan? You want me to have sex with your husband?” I said, staring at Jill.

“Seems fair enough. You are already having sex with me and I would like to keep this up.”

“Well, I would too, but what makes you think your husband will want me?”

“Hah. Does water run downhill?”

“So let me get this straight. I seduce Cam. You scream in anguish about his infidelity and then make him the same offer of an open marriage he made you years ago when you found out he was banging his secretary?”

“Yeah. It should work. He thought it was a good idea then. Why wouldn’t he like it now?”

“What about Rich?”

“You said he wouldn’t object to us.”

“He won’t but I mean are you going to do him too?”

“Oh. I hadn’t thought about that. Is he good in bed?”

“Yes. Lisa thinks so too.” Lisa was Rich’s lover in Oregon who we casually referred to as his ‘slut’. Lisa and her husband owned several cattle ranches in Oregon and Idaho. They had a very open marriage. She was actually very nice. We talked on the phone regularly, usually about Rich’s faults and her desire to make love to me in addition to my husband. Lisa was very Bi.

“Will she object?”

I laughed. “She has so many relationships I don’t know how she keeps track of them. Half of them are incestuous. She doesn’t get a vote in this.”

“Oh then no problem. Unless you object?”

I sat looking at her, “Hmm. So the Jamesons and the Fergusons are going to become one big happy family living next Sahabet door in polyamory?”

“Polyamory?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just think of it as living in sin by your mother’s standards.”

By that time it was getting to be late in the afternoon so we adjourned to the kitchen for more wine and pizza. Our plotting for my seduction of Cam continued through the pizza and some mutual masturbation on the back porch. I had a lovely crop of zucchini that summer.

As usual I was up and working in the garden early the next morning, well before Jill, who was not a morning person. As I was crawling about on my hands and knees I heard my phone buzz. I pulled it from my pocket and answered finding that it was Rich. He was calling in response to the photo of Jill and I having sex that I had sent him the day before.

“My, my. You’ve found a new way to entertain yourself while I am away with Lisa,” he said.

“Yes.”

“Lisa is impressed with your technique.”

I laughed, “She is such a slut.”

“Tut tut. You seem to be catching up fast.”

“Perhaps.”

“What does Cam think of all this?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“Hmm. Jill, they are among our oldest friends. I know they just moved next door a few weeks ago but they were our neighbors when we lived in our first house twenty plus years ago.”

“True. Are you telling me I shouldn’t be fucking our neighbor’s wife?”

“No. That’s not our deal. I do who I do and you do who you do without permission required for either of us from the other. It’s working well for us. But what about Cam? Do you and Jill have a plan to get him to go along with this? I wouldn’t be fucking Lisa if I thought her husband objected.”

“Yes Jill and I thought it all through over a couple of bottles of wine yesterday. I’m going to seduce Cam.”

“What?”

“I’m going to seduce Cam. You don’t object do you?”

“No I don’t object but how does that assure that Cam will not object to Jill’s new relationship with you?

“Simple. When she finds out she will throw a hissy fit and demand a divorce. Cam will propose an open marriage as a better solution than the expense of a divorce. She will say okay and the Jamesons and the Fergusons will be one happy family living next-door in polyamory.

“In what?”

“Polyamory?”

“What does that mean?”

I sighed in exasperation. Doesn’t anybody know what that word means. “Don’t worry about it. We will all be happily fucking each other in any combination we think is fun.”

“I’m not doing it with Cam,” he said. “But the other combinations are okay with me.” He chuckled. “In fact I think I will probably want to watch.”

“You horndog.”

He was silent for a moment. “Yeah I’m okay with the outcome, but so how are you going to do this?”

I described in detail the seduction plan Jill and I had developed which was based on a bunch of the techniques we had learned about when we had sex training with a preacher in Boise who everyone referred to as the Rev.

“Hmmm. Let me think about that. I will call you this afternoon or tomorrow. I want to discuss this with Lisa.”

“She doesn’t get a vote,” I said.

“I know. I know. But she spends a lot of time around the Rev and his band of perverts. I think her advice on how to do this would be helpful.”

Whew I thought. He’s onboard. “Okay talk to Lisa and let me know what you two come up with.”

“I’ll call you later. Gotta go now. We’re going for a walk on the beach. Loved the pic. You two looked hot.”

It was late in the afternoon when my phone buzzed with a message from Rich. He wanted a face time. Jill and I were in bed naked. Well mostly naked. Well really naked but for a bed sheet that kept falling on the floor. We pulled the sheet up and used it to prop up my phone up so Rich was getting an image of Jill and I sitting side by side. Lisa was on the phone with him. They were dressed and looking a bit weather beaten. Apparently the beach had been windy and wet today. I guess you have to live in a desert most of the year like Lisa to think walking on a cold, wet, windy, beach is fun.

“Listen,” he said after introductions of Lisa and Jill were made. “Lisa and I have been talking and we’re not sure going straight at Cam with the Rev’s techniques is the best strategy.”

“Here’s the thing,” Lisa said, “Most of the people the Rev works with are having problems with their sex life because they are horny as hell but don’t know how to tell their partner about it. So when the Rev convinces them it’s okay to talk about sex, to have sex, to flaunt it, to be a voyeur or an exhibitionist or both, and all the other perversions he sells and to enjoy it; why it’s like opening the floodgates for those people. He’s someone of authority, preaching the word of God (or at least his version of it) and telling them that all that things they want to do, things the straight world is telling them are Sahabet Giriş bad and evil, whether it’s masturbating, oral sex, fucking, screwing your neighbor or your sister, or any of the unlimited activities in between or beyond those are not only okay to do, but they are approved by god, good clean fun, and good for your mental health and even your waistline.”

“Wow this guy sounds like fun,” Jill interrupted.

“He is,” Lisa responded, “But unless a person is approaching him with the right frame of mind and with the right objective, he may be terrifying.”

“Yeah, he could be,” I said. “He’s a lot less terrifying if you are horny and stoned.”

Rich spoke up, “I think Lisa’s right about this. Here’s my take on this problem. Lisa’s world is cows. My world is sales.”

Lisa snorted and shook her head at the absurdity of his comparison.

Ignoring her he continued. “One of the things I learned in sales is that it’s much easier to make a sale if your customer has already decided he wants your product before you bombard him with a long slide deck describing all the virtues of your product. If you start with the slide deck he will be focused on nit-picking the details wanting to convince himself that your product won’t do what he needs. Not the kind of positive attitude you want a prospective buyer in when you ask for the order. First you have dinner and find out what he needs. Then over dinner and drinks you convince him you’ve got the solution. Then when he sees the big slide deck you’ve already set the hook and he’s all for it. Instead of focusing on future problems, he is looking at solutions to his current problems.”

“Yeah, so how’s that going to work with Cam?” I asked.

“Golf,” he responded. “This is a simple sales problem. This coming Saturday, Cam and I will play a round of golf. Saturday is a slow day. Plenty of time to talk about our sex lives. Yeah ladies. Guys talk about their sex lives too, but only in someplace private like a golf course. In a locker room we talk about other people’s sex lives but not our own unless it’s total bullshit. But alone on a golf course two guys can get honest. That’s when I will set the hook. When I bring him home by Friday evening I guarantee you he will be ready for your seduction Sharon. He’s gonna want what you have to offer. You two should dress up, classy but very sexy, and we will go to dinner at the club. Afterwards we will return home and you two can do your thing with Cam.”

Jill and I spent the next two days shopping for the right dresses to wear on Saturday night. Well actually we spent much of the next two days in bed fucking. But when we weren’t doing that we were shopping.

The outfits we selected were just what Rich called for. Sexy sandals with three-inch heels, classic little cocktail dresses that showed lots of leg and plenty of cleavage—less for Jill than me. You don’t want to upstage the bride she pointed out. None of the bras I owned would work with the dress but the little boutique where we shopped was happy to sell me a strapless bra that would keep me presentable in public. It worked but I thought going braless would have felt better. Reservations for dinner were made and on Saturday time was devoted to shaving all body parts, fixing our hair, trying different levels of make-up (noticeable but not trashy or even better not really noticeable but effective), manicures and pedicures in matching colors. By the time we were ready we looked hot.

Before we left for dinner Rich shared the details of his round of golf with Cam with me, but I’ll let him tell it here in his own words:

Once everyone was agreed to my plan I made a tee time for late on Saturday morning and fired an e-mail off to Cam inviting him. He promptly accepted. Cam loves golf and he’s good at it. He thought late morning was a good idea because his plane from the East Coast was getting in late the night before.

As we waited on the first tee I thought about the essence of my sales pitch. Simple and straight forward: ‘How’s your sex life Cam? Still as hot as it was when we lived next door? Oh, well that happens over time. It did to Sharon and me but let me tell you how we’ve fixed that problem. I think it could work for you too.’ Define the problem. Propose the solution. Keep it simple.

We teed off on number one with two well struck drives leaving us in the middle of the fairway. We soon found ourselves sitting in our cart watching the foursome in front of us agonize over every putt. “Must be a big money match,” I said.

Cam laughed.

“So how’s retirement treating you?” I asked.

“Okay. The retirement option came up quickly enough so Jill and I didn’t have much time to plan it out. But it was too good a deal to turn down. So here we are.”

“Glad to have you guys back.” I paused for a moment. “You know Sharon and I kind of stumbled into it too. I wasn’t even thinking about retirement Sahabet Güncel Giriş until these guys from Chicago showed up and offered us more money for the company than anyone in his right mind would turn down.”

The foursome ahead of us finally moved on and we finished the hole up. Pars each. Then we found ourselves sitting alongside the number 2 tee box watching the foursome ahead of us searching about in the woods for a tee shot that must have gone seriously astray. Perfect, I thought. More time to talk. “You know one of the things Sharon and I set out to do was to try to recover some of the sex life we had when we were younger. But of course that’s not a problem for everyone.”

“Oh . . . Yeah. Sure.” Very noncommittal. Not time to probe yet. Let him lead.

“God. How big a slice did that guy hit?” I said laughing.

“Must have been a dandy.”

Eventually one of the group hacked it out of the trees in two shots and that got them beyond our range. We hit nice straight tee shots leaving us side by side in five iron range of the green. Cam was quiet as sat in the cart watching the group ahead chip on and putt out. Thinking I hoped.

Eventually they made it after a couple of efforts from the sand trap for one guy. Once they cleared the green my approach shot landed on the back of the green leaving me a tough downhill putt. Cam seemed a bit distracted pushing his approach shot into a sand trap on the side of the green. I hit a long double breaking putt that snaked in for a birdie. Cam got up and down out of the trap for a par.

The group ahead of us picked up their pace and we moved right along for a couple of holes although we slowed down just a bit because Cam put a couple of his t-shots in the rough. Nothing serious, but enough to require some search time and another shot or two for Cam. I smiled to myself. Distracted? Golf is a game that requires focus and concentration.

While we waited on the sixth tee Cam spoke up, “Yeah that romance thing can be hard. Over time I mean. How long have you guys been married, now?

“Twenty-five years. Since just before we lived next door to you folks the first time.”

“I remember. Seemed like you had it pretty good then.”

I laughed. “Oh you mean Sharon and I made too much noise?”

He blushed a little. “Well mostly Sharon, I guess. Women are that way.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Jill woke us up a time or two.”

He laughed. “The walls between those condos were a little thin weren’t they.”

I shrugged with a smile. “It was all in good fun. You two never bothered us.”

“Yeah. That’s the way sex was then. All good fun and plenty of it.”

“Our turn to hit,” I said as I stepped out of the cart. I didn’t want to rush this conversation.

My shot was just what I wanted. A gentle draw that set me up for the dog leg approach to this green. I was focused this morning. Every shot pretty much where I wanted it. But Cam seemed to be going downhill. His tee shot was a nasty, short, pull hook that stayed in a findable location but left trees blocking any hope of a decent approach shot. Hmm time to start playing ‘customer golf,’ I thought. Don’t want the golf to get in the way of the sales pitch here. I made sure my approach shot wound up in a green side sand trap while Cam took two shots to get to the green. We came out even at a bogey each.

While we waited on the next tee box, a par 3, I probed just a bit. “Yeah, the sex was fun when we first got married. The best part of life. But it faded over twenty years. Kids, jobs, PTA, scout troops, soccer practice.” I shook my head. “The list just seemed to go on and on.”

“Yeah and sex always seemed to come in last,” he said.

“You too?” I asked.

He shook his head and got out of the cart. “We’re up.” He grabbed his seven iron and walked to the tee box. Still distracted, his shot was weak, but on the green mostly because he got a good bounce off a sprinkler head. I made sure mine was in the sand trap. He picked up a stroke on me. His par to my bogey.

We played a couple more holes without further comment. Cam was silent even as we watched some terribly bad, almost laughable, golf in front of us. Cam’s golf was okay, but not up to his usual standard. I made sure I wasn’t running away with things.

After we teed off on the tenth hole we again found ourselves sitting in the fairway waiting. At least now we each had a cold beer we had picked up at the turn. “So were you successful?” he asked.

“Successful?” I knew damn well what he was asking but I wanted him to say it.

“You and Sharon. Successful at recovering your sex life.”

“Oh that’s what you meant. Yeah, I would say so. Yes we have been.”

He was silent and I let the silence lay there. After a long while of letting him think I said, “It’s not like it was twenty years ago of course. Our bodies change. I can’t get a new erection every five minutes like I could then.”

Cam laughed. “I remember. We heard about it through those thin walls.”

“Sorry about that.”

“No need for apologies. You two were . . . how shall I say this . . . inspiring.”

I laughed. “The two of you were too.”

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