I don’t normally drink, in hindsight I’ll say that I didn’t text him, vodka texted him, I was simply the vessel typing the message.
Addie: I miss your bite marks
I didn’t actually expect him to answer. It had been years since we’d talked, I might not even have the right number any more. I was hoping though. Ok, I was praying that he, like me, held onto the same number in hope that one day I’d try and contact him.
I smiled at a friend who was calling me over from the dance floor and slipped my phone into my bra. Two songs later, when I was spinning about with some preppy football player with more muscle than skill, my phone buzzed. Twice.
Lucas: I could fix that for you
My heartbeat instantly kicked up a notch. Lucas was everything my mother told me good girls don’t want. Possessive, jealous, angry, but he had this way of making me feel desired above anything else. When Lucas gave me his full attention, the world slipped away and I felt like the most beautiful woman and the most important thing in his universe.
With him I hadn’t been good, but I’d been honest. He’d learned all those kinky little things that drove me mad and he’d taught my masochistic little mind to love them, and to love him too. He never made me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about the things that turned me on, and he’d played into them all, seemingly just as turned on as I was.
Breaking up with him had been the hardest thing I’d ever done, second only to staying away from him in the twenty four unbearable months since.
Lucas: I’ve missed that little moan you make when I sink my teeth into you.
I was standing on the dance floor trying to pretend he hadn’t messaged me back when that last text came through. The preppy bar fly I was trying to tell myself I liked, looked shocked when I glanced down at my phone and pulled away from him like he was suddenly fire and I was afraid of being burned.
There was no way I could let him touch me, not when my body was humming for someone else. Not just someone else, Lucas, always Lucas.
Pushing my way through the crowd, I made it back to the table that my friends had reserved for our little party. I stared at my phone forever, trying to think of something clever and sexy to write back, but Lucas impatient as ever beat me to it.
Lucas: Where are you Kitten?
My breath caught in my throat at his name for me. God, he had this way of making me wet without so much as touching me. Hovering by our table, my hands shook and my heart raced as I typed my reply.
Addie: Julie’s birthday party, we’re out dancing.
He’d hate that, I didn’t need to ask. Lucas believed that bars were cesspools of lust and std’s. Any time I’d gone out with the girls while we dated I’d put up with a list of strict rules, hourly check ins, and a shower after before he would touch me or let me touch him. Lucas had a thing about germs, and strangers touching his things.
It was one of the reasons they’d all banded together and had my intervention. An almost successful attempt to convince me that he was a control freak who was all wrong for me. Too bad I’d never had the courage to tell them just how right he’d been in so many ways.
My phone rang and Lucas’ picture flashed up on the screen, and I sank into a seat. I stared at it for a few rings, eventually answering it, bringing the phone to my ear in what felt like slow motion. It was hard to hear yourself think with the DJ blasting 90’s hip hop so loud my teeth vibrated, but the second Lucas spoke all I could hear was the deep rumble of his voice.
“I didn’t think you would answer,” he said. There was a moment of silence as I struggled to find anything to say, but that wasn’t new. Lucas had spend the five years we’d been together pulling me out of my shell. Tonight, it seemed, would be no different. “Hello Kitten,” he purred through the line.
My body exploded in a quick burst of lust and longing. Licking my lips, I had to clear my throat before speaking, “Hello Lucas.” I sounded out of breath, possibly desperate, it made him laugh.
“Have you missed me as much as I missed you?” He asked. In the background I could hear a door slam and an engine rumble to life.
“More,” I whispered under the music. Part of me hoped it was too quiet fake hospital porno for him to hear, but his growling reply told me otherwise.
“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, I don’t care it’s the alcohol talking.”
It might have been the alcohol talking, but it wasn’t. The alcohol only made it possible for what I actually wanted, when I was honest with myself, to outweigh the things that people told me I should want. Ie: him versus the grinning preppy headed my way.
“Hey beautiful,” the preppy called out sliding into the seat next to me. “I was starting to think you’d abandoned me.”
“Who the fuck is that?” Lucas growled into my ear. I shivered instinctively and pulled away from the arm the preppy slung across the back of my chair. “Get rid of him Adelaide,” he snapped, “get rid of him now.”
Preppy seemed oblivious to my discomfort, and leaned in a little closer. “Damn girl, you smell good enough to eat.” His megawatt smile and perfectly shaped, kissable lips might have weakened the resolve of any other woman. But this was me we’re talking about, and the only mouth I wanted anywhere near me had the thin, often scowling lips and slightly crooked teeth of the now livid man on the phone.
“Adelaide,” Lucas warned, again I heard the slamming of a door and wondered where he was. “He better not be touching you,” the threat wasn’t new. Three years ago before the end of “us”, he would have said ‘touching what’s mine’, not ‘touching you’, and if I was honest, I would tell you it hurt that he hadn’t.
My heart pounded wildly in my chest as I slid off the chair and stood. I gave preppy a small smile and pointed at the phone, “Sorry, I’m talking with my man,” I said, “he’s on his way.”
Preppy gave me a surprised look, but didn’t object as I pushed my way through the crowd again and headed to the bar. The phone was still pressed against my ear but I heard nothing under the thrum of the club. When I couldn’t bear it any longer I closed my eyes and whispered, “Lucas?” The line went dead and the ache in my chest grew to an almost unbearable level.
I sank onto a barstool and stared out at nothing, fighting back this fresh heartache that was flooding my system. I sat there alone for ten minutes, constantly glancing down at my phone, checking my texts on the off chance he’d replied and I just hadn’t noticed.
“You look like you could use a drink darlin’,” the bartender called out leaning towards me across the bar. He matched the hipster theme that carried through from the management and staff to the customers. With a handlebar moustache and tattoos, I guess he was cute. He had a nice smile, and bright blue eyes that scanned me with interest, but all I could think was that he was too young and too nice for a woman like me.
“Vodka seven please,” I called out feeling defeated and alone, just as a pair of hands came around to rest on the bar on either side of me, and a familiar weight settled in against my back.
“I’ll take a whiskey, straight up.” My eyes fluttered shut as his breath danced across the bare skin at the nape of my neck. One arm moved long enough for him to reach into his pocket for something, and I heard the bartender ask if he wanted a tab. “No, we won’t be here that long,” Lucas promised, I couldn’t help but shiver in response.
I was lost in the warmth of his body and the memories that surged to the surface just by having him so close after so long. His arms were braced on either side of me, his mouth and teeth scraping across every inch of bare shoulder they could find. Promising the very thing my body was screaming for but falling short of delivering.
“What? No hello?” He murmured against my ear, “you aren’t curious how I found you?” He nipped at my ear lobe and I shivered involuntarily, pressing back into him a little more.
“Hello Lucas,” I replied softly. I felt him spin me around until I was facing him, but I couldn’t bare to open my eyes. It would be just my luck to find this was just a dream, or to find there was hatred in the stormy grey eyes I’d spent every night of the last two years dreaming about.
He was still braced on the bar, forcing me to lean back against it as well. My hands were clenched in a death grip on my lap and my knees fake taxi porno were shaking from their place between his legs. God, he smelt just as good as I remembered, like coffee and Cedar.
As his head pushed mine to the side and his teeth once again scraped across my flesh, I shuddered and turned my face into his neck to inhale deeply. The all consuming man chuckled and placed a chaste kiss at the junction of my shoulder and neck.
“I missed this Kitten,” he whispered, taking my earlobe between his teeth, and sucking. “I missed you.”
My breath caught in my throat, a strangled sob that had one of his hands at my head guiding my lips to his. I couldn’t say how much I missed this…him, but I couldn’t resist trying to show him. With my eyes still closed tightly to ward off the tears that were too close to the surface, I reached for him and pulled his lips to mine
He didn’t kiss me back, choosing instead to let me ravage his mouth and claw at his suit jacket and tie like a woman possessed. At one point he ripped his mouth from mine and ignored my gasping breaths to wedge one knee between mine.
“Open your legs for me,” he whispered against my cheek, trailing a line of kisses along my jaw. I didn’t, I couldn’t, I knew what he would do and this was too public a place for that.
Instead I tried to force his mouth to my neck, begging with a throaty, “Please…” for the one thing I really needed.
Lucas resisted, and like in all things there was no force powerful enough in this world to make him do something he didn’t want to do. My tormentor pressed his lips to my ear, and in that hard, unforgiving tone I loved, growled his command again.
“Open your legs for Daddy.”
Everything inside me throbbed. My breath lodged in my throat again and if I wasn’t already soaking wet, that one sentence sent a gush of liquid to my core. Obediently my legs fell open and he wasted no time lodging one knee between my thighs to keep them like that.
He was surprising me, Lucas was insanely private. As much as I might be a little exhibitionist at heart, the man who possessed my heart didn’t like to share anything, not even memories. Tonight however he seemed to not give two shits who saw his left hand as it climbed it’s way up my inner thigh and brushed against my soaked core.
“Have you been wet like this all night Kitten?” he growled again, gently stroking his finger up and down my slit, over and over until my panties and his finger were soaked. “Did one of these fuck heads excite you and make you this hot and bothered?”
I opened my eyes then, pulling back to take in everything from the shining black hair, now flecked with more grey than I remembered, to the pristine tux he wore, bow tie and all. Although the tie was undone, and now hung down against an unbuttoned collar.
He looked tired and frantic all at once. There was a desperation in his eyes that called to me and as his fingers slid under my panties to bury themselves in my wetness I had to fight from closing my fluttering eyes.
“Well?” He snapped plunging two fingers deep inside me. I moaned just then, pulling to bring him closer even though he fought me. “Which one of these fucks turned you on Kitten, which one made you pick up the phone and message me?”
I wanted to react badly, to push him away and tell him it’s times like this, where he thinks the worst of me, that made it impossible to stay with him. But there was something in the wild hurt burning in his eyes that stopped me. We were both hurting right now, that much was clear.
“I didn’t just message because I’m drunk,” I told him, swallowing my fear and insecurity. His hand rotated inside me and he pushed his fingers in deeper, his thumb brushing against my clit with each thrust. “I didn’t message you because some guy turned me on either,” I gasped clinging to him.
“Then why?” He pushed, quickening the relentless pace of his fingers. If people were watching, neither of us cared. We were in our own little fucked up world and I prayed that we could stay there.
“Addie?” Julie’s voice cut through my lustful haze. Lucas and I locked gazes and I moaned as I felt his fingers slipping out.
“Because they don’t,” I said softly, watching his eyes widen and family stroke porno his nostrils flare as I gave him my confession. “They don’t turn me on and I’m tired of pretending that anyone but you can.”
I watched in aroused horror as he reached up and painted my lips with cum before slipping them into his mouth and cleaning them quickly. My own tongue flicked out and tasted the tangy sweetness a second before Julie pushed through the last of the crowd and slid to a stop beside me.
“Who’s the silver fox?” She said turning to Lucas. Instantly her smile fell and she glanced in shock between us. “What the fuck Addie?”
“Happy Birthday Jules,” he said drily, “lovely to see you too.” Lucas moved to pull back and internally I panicked. I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet, there was so much more I needed from him and so many things I needed to say.
As if he knew, as if he could feel my rising pulse, Lucas smoothed his right hand down my leg. Reaching around me he grabbed his drink with his left and downed it. Like he was impatient to leave or the thought of spending time with Jules required alcohol.
Not that I could blame him, Jules and my mother had been the driving force between our split. On my best days I had trouble handling either of them for more than a few hours. He didn’t know how much they were both wearing on my nerves lately, and how tired I’d become of all this.
“You are supposed to be hooking up with someone new Addie,” Julie snapped at me, jerking her head towards the man who smelt like my sex and looked ready to kill her. “Not relapsing and going back to this control freak.”
I could all but hear Lucas grinding his teeth from over there. He glared at her for a second and motioned above my head to the bartender who knowingly brought him another.
“Play nice Jules,” I snapped back. If looks could kill her glare would have seen me dead, buried and staked before the next song came on.
“How did he find us anyway? I thought I deleted his number?” I didn’t answer, her scowl deepened and with a flick of her chestnut curls she spun around on her heels. “Guess it’s time to choose Addie, him or your friends, because we’re not going to sit around and watch him abuse you any longer.”
When she accused him of abusing me every muscle in Lucas’ body stiffened. No one knew the truth between us because I’d always kept my promise to keep what was between us exactly that, between us.
No one knew I begged for the marks he’d given me, that I’d pushed for more than what he was comfortable giving, and that we’d fought about it more than once.
They didn’t know that I called him Daddy because they’d never understand. I’m not even sure that I understood. He’d just been able to read me so well that the first time he’d taken that risk and told me to ‘open my legs for Daddy’, just like he had tonight, I’d cum harder than I’ve ever cum in my life.
It wasn’t dirty with him, it was special. A secret between lovers that until tonight had never been whispered outside of his apartment.
So when he stiffened, looking ready to bolt at any time I reached for him, pulling him back between my legs and reaching up to turn his face towards me. “Please,” I whispered, “please don’t think about her right now, I need you.”
His eyes were dark like the prairie skies before a storm and I shivered at the intensity behind them. “You heard her, you need to make a decision Adelaide,” he seethed, my full name sounding strange on his lips. “Them or me?”
I watched him for ages, taking in the tiredness in his features. The unruly hair which was so unlike him, and the wild look of desperation and lust simmering behind his anger. I felt his hand gripping my hip in a brutal and unforgiving grasp, and I prayed tomorrow that I’d have the bruises I craved so much.
My eyes dropped to the thin lines of his lips and I found myself aching to see him smile. “I thought I had chosen,” I replied softly, hesitating before I found the courage to look up and meet his now hopeful gaze. Time beat between us until I reached out and smoothed an invisible wrinkle on the front of his shirt. “I want you to take me home.”
That hand on my hip tightened and his mouth claimed mine in the kiss I’d been waiting for. Lucas licked and nipped at my mouth until I opened myself to him and then he possessed my mouth, pulling sounds from me I didn’t know existed.
I didn’t care who saw. I didn’t care what they thought. For the first time in years I felt like myself, and I was going to ride this wave of pleasure for as long as he’d let me.