“Helping Mom” was my first foray into regaining my motivation for writing. This one is my second. Both were random thoughts that I decided to put onto paper. This one, I believe, will be the better of the two. Side note: Based on the feedback from “Helping Mom” I might add some chapters. I wasn’t planning to, but I appreciate the positive support.
A GIRL NEVER TELLS
My wife, Kate, had died suddenly and unexpectedly a little more than a year ago. I was obviously devastated. I fell into a depression that took months to escape. It took intense therapy to get me through it. I was able to follow many of the recommendations by the therapist but there was one I just could not bring myself to follow through with. It was a constant point of discourse between me and my therapist. He routinely called it the last hurdle I had to jump through to be free from the nightmare I was enduring. It eventually became the thing that changed more than I could have imagined.
What I did… or, I should say, didn’t do was to mourn my wife in a healthy manner. I refused to change anything about the house. In fact, I even went out of my way to get things done in the house that she wanted done but we never got around to. The basis for the problem was that I never changed anything about the house that constantly reminded me of her. More specifically, I left everything in its place as if I were expecting her to come home any minute.
All her clothes hung in the closet as they always had.
The items around her sink remained as if she was going to get up each morning and use them.
Her craft room was set up waiting for her to come in and make another holiday card.
I walked by it every day and it soothed me each time I saw it all. I was informed that it was actually hurting me deep down. I didn’t want to accept that as fact so, I never did anything to change it. It wasn’t until my wife’s “mini-me” contacted me that things began to change.
Our niece, Carolynn, was the product of her brother’s marriage and she was the spitting image of my wife. So much so, that my wife’s brother would constantly call his daughter “Kate”. I watched her grow and change through the years and only once she was an adult could I see the deeper resemblance that there was. She contacted me one day as asked a question that would change my life.
“What did you end up doing with Auntie Kate’s things?” she asked via text.
It struck me pretty hard as it was a reminder of my wife’s passing as well as the fact that I had not taken my therapists advice. In the moment, however, I realized something. Perhaps my issue was that I thought my only option was to throw it all in the trash or donate it somewhere to someone who would never appreciate it. I found an opportunity I never knew I needed.
“Nothing, actually. Would you like to come and see if you would like anything?” I hesitantly replied.
“Really?” she asked, “It would do my heart so well to have some of her things.”
I smiled at her immediate reply.
“Well, you have the full gambit of things to choose from,” I told her. “Anything from her Cricut to her toothpaste.”
Her response came so fast, I would have sworn it was scripted and ready to go.
“Uncle Jason! You haven’t done anything with any of her things?” she chastised.
I shook my head as if she could see me.
“No. I never found an avenue that made me feel okay about giving her things away. I would love for you to take whatever you want, though!”
There was a much longer delay.
“I will be down in a few days,” she replied. “We will talk about this when I get there.”
I’m about to get scolded by someone barely out of their teens, I thought.
“See you soon, honey,” I replied without acknowledging her latter statement.
From that moment until the day she arrived, I thought about what my world would look like with some of her noticeable things having been taken out of the house. My only solace was that my niece would have them. I wasn’t prepared for anything that was going to take place once she arrived. I spent the next few days doing what I always did when company was expected. I cleaned and shopped.
I swept and mopped all the floors. I made up the guest bedroom and stocked the guest bathroom with towels and toilet paper. I also made it a point to get the pool properly situated. I normally kept it up because I also enjoy swimming, but I didn’t want to wait. Carolynn loved being in the water, so I wanted to make sure it was up to par for her.
She finally arrived after a few days, and I greeted her at the door. She had her suitcase and a couple of empty ones. It seemed she intended to take a lot with her, and it made me sad that my world would be somewhat upended but, at the same time, happy that someone could use my wife’s things and hold onto her memory.
“Dinner is just about ready, come on in!” I said, greeting her with a hug.
We ate and talked over dinner, and nothing came up about the reason for her visit. She mentioned görükle escort nothing about how I kept the house since my wife’s death, and I was silently appreciative of that. She kept to her typical routine and told me that she would like to swim after dinner.
“The pool is ready to go!” I told her. “Levels are good, and the filter is clean.”
“You know, I’ve developed my own ways these past couple years,” she said, shyly looking at me.
“Okay?” I prompted her.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to skinny dip,” she said confidently.
I had intended to go swim with her, but wanted to give her some privacy since I thought it was what she wanted.
“Okay, I’ll swim tomorrow or something,” I said.
“Uncle Jason, that is not what I was suggesting. I feel like we’re both mature adults. You can join me in a little skinny dip if you like as well. We can keep it professional or whatever,” she said with a snicker.
It’s worth mentioning that at this point that we live in the country. Kate and I grew up in the suburbs but as we grew older together, we both got tired of close neighbors and man-made noise. We bought a few acres out in the country and built our forever home. There’re no neighbors within sight as we have forest all around us. I wasn’t that I was concerned about being watched skinny dipping. We’d done it before. It was that my niece would be naked in front of me for the first time. I didn’t know what to think about that.
“I understand your hesitation,” she told me. “You watched me grow up. I’m a grown woman now, though, and I don’t have any new features that women before me haven’t had!” she added with a light laugh.
“No,” I replied, “it’s just that it’s new to me.”
My wife and I had swum nude at night on many occasions and I figured there wouldn’t be any harm in my niece doing the same. It’s also worth mentioning that my niece was an attractive young woman. It’s not that I was attracted to her per se, but I knew what she looked like, and I know what guys like. I knew she was fighting boys off with several sticks.
She was about five foot four. She had dark hair like my wife. She was built somewhat opposite of my wife, though. Her breasts were larger, and her butt was smaller but well rounded. Of course, I noticed these things. She had bathed in the pool many times before in small swimsuits and I couldn’t help but notice. I caught myself observing these facts and chastising myself for doing it but then rationalized it by knowing that I wasn’t lusting after her. I was just observing.
“I’ll wait until you’re at work tomorrow,” she said in a disappointed tone.
“No, it’s fine, honey. We can be grown ups about it, for sure.”
With that, we cleaned up from dinner and got ready to swim. I got in my suit and headed outside. I got the outside lights turned on but kept the pool lights off. As I was setting everything up outside, Carolynn came out in a towel wrapped around her body.
It was dark outside except for the soft solar lights and she walked right up to the pool stairs and turned to look at me. I nodded and she smiled sheepishly. I tried to ignore what I knew was about to happen, but my primal nature took over and I watched her. I watched her remove her towel and drape it over the nearby railing.
She was beautiful. Her breasts were large and hung well on her chest. Her body resembled that of a 1960’s wife. She wasn’t muscle-toned but by no means was she fat. She was perfect. She walked down the stairs into the water and swam to the other side of the pool. Once I turned on the music, I walked over to the stairs and looked at her and hesitated.
“It’s okay,” she said with an encouraging tone.
It felt like she purposely left out calling me Uncle. I slid my suit down my legs and quickly walked down the stairs into the water. I swam around to the opposite side of the pool from her.
“How do you like it?” she asked, not knowing it wasn’t new to me.
“This isn’t the first time I’ve been in this pool naked,” I informed her.
“Oh?”
I nodded.
“Then why are you scared to have the pool lights on?” she asked.
It felt like she was forcing me to look at her body, though I knew my eyes were directly under my own control. Without a word, I used my phone to enable the pool lights.
“What color would you like?” I asked. I felt bold and continued. “I could go with a dark blue,” I said as I turned on the lights with that color. “Or!” I added happily as I turned the LED lights to white, “I could make it very bright.”
With that light and the stillness of the water, I could make out her features. She caught me looking her over.
“You’ve never seen me before,” she reminded me, “would it help to just see me and get it over with?”
“It’s not that,” I told her, “you’re a young and, to be quite honest, attractive woman, and I’d hate to be seen as creepy if I had some kind of… physical reaction.”
She moved to the stairs and as she climbed them, she said, “If you’re bursa eskort worried about getting hard because you see a woman’s naked body, I won’t hold it against you.”
I noticed again that she didn’t include Uncle in her statement.
She walked up to the second highest step and turned to face me.
“What do you think?” she asked, holding her arms out as if she were modeling.
I made a show of looking her over.
“Landing strip, huh? I took you for a bald kind of woman,” I joked.
I said exactly what I said because my wife would shave herself daily, no matter what was taking place that day. She looked down and parted her legs slightly. She petted the hair that was there.
“I know Auntie Kate liked to shave it all, but I like a little hair down there.”
I was surprised she knew about her aunt’s grooming habits like that.
“She did, indeed,” I replied. “You keep yourself well, Carolynn, I can’t deny that.”
“Thank you!” she said with a minor curtsy as she remained on the stairs. “Have you seen enough?”
I laughed and told her, “I have indeed, get back in here and enjoy the nice water!”
She fell into the water and laughed as she swam around. We had a truly fun and enjoyable swim that night. When we were done, we both got out of the water and walked to the porch. She grabbed her towel from the railing, and I walked nude several feet longer until I retrieved my towel from the chair where I left it. I was slightly hard, but she didn’t let me know that she noticed. We dried off and both walked into the house. We both wrapped the towels around us, but she only covered her bottom half. I recall thinking that skinny dipping wasn’t her only foray into nudism or perhaps even exhibitionism.
As we walked to our separate rooms, I locked doors and turned off lights.
“Tomorrow we will get to work,” she told me just before closing her door.
I didn’t get a chance to respond but knew my world would change as she altered my environment. I spent my time trying to sleep wondering what the house would feel like when we were done.
The next day, I got up early and made breakfast while I waited for Carolynn to wake. She eventually came down in a set of baggy pajamas.
“Good morning,” she said as she headed straight to the coffee maker.
I chuckled and told her, “Nothing’s changed.”
She nodded and added, “I need it to function!”
She had been drinking coffee since her mid-teens, just like my wife. They both drank coffee like it was the thing that would ward off all that was bad throughout the day.
We ate breakfast and she told me she was eager to get started going through things.
“How long are you here?” I asked realizing I never bothered to ask.
“I don’t have a deadline,” she responded between sips of her coffee.
“Okay, well, there’s a lot.”
“I assumed that when I realized you had not done anything with her stuff.”
“Yeah, well,” I said without anything to follow.
“Uncle Jason, you don’t need to feel bad. I can’t imagine losing the love of my life. We will communicate all day as we do this, and I won’t push you.”
I knew what she meant, and my heart warmed at her compassion for my situation. It wasn’t surprising, though. She always had a kind heart.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Let’s start in the closet,” she said. “If we start at the hard place, it will make everything else easier.”
I nodded and knew she was right.
When breakfast was done, we moved upstairs. She mentioned starting in the closet, but I directed her to her dresser which had remained untouched since my wife’s passing.
“Let’s start with some casual clothes. The closet has all her work stuff in it.”
She moved to the dresser and looked at all the closed drawers. She seemed to be in deep thought before she turned to me.
“I told and showed you that I loved to skinny dip. The fact is, I like being naked. I also like being accurate in my appraisals.”
I looked at her with a confused face; not understanding what one had to do with the other.
“I don’t like underwear,” she admitted.
I sort of knew she didn’t like bras but just thought that was a morning thing.
“I want to try a lot of this on and want your opinion but that will take me being naked a lot in front of you. That will be especially true with the fancier things in her closet.”
I nodded and told her, “I will be the adult you need me to be.”
She smiled and nodded as she opened the first drawer.
“Panties and bras,” she said as she looked into the drawer. “I don’t need these.”
“Because they’re used or because you just don’t wear them?” I asked.
“I don’t wear them.”
I nodded and felt my body begin to respond. I chastised myself internally for thinking of her that way, but I knew it was just the beginning.
She pulled everything out of that drawer and tossed it into a pile.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Uncle Jason, you don’t need to keep these,” she bursa escort reminded me.
I reluctantly nodded and she moved to the next drawer.
“Oh! Pajamas!” she said happily after opening the next drawer.
She quickly stripped and was naked in front of me. I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed what I was seeing. She had smooth, tanned skin on a nice body. She looked over at me and saw me watching her.
“Do I look okay?” she asked and modestly posed, turning her butt toward me.
“You look nice,” I told her, holding back my appraisal of her body.
“Thanks!” she said as she began to try on my wife’s pajamas.
It was hard to keep my composure as she went through all the drawers. It wasn’t until we moved to the closet that things began to change. She never put on her own clothes between outfit changes. She favored being nude and I wasn’t complaining.
“Wow! That’s a lot!” she said as she opened the closet door.
I chuckled and agreed, telling her that I never abated her inclination to buy new clothes without getting rid of her oldest outfits. She eagerly began trying on each dress and business apparel. I was finding it harder and harder to resist approaching her to seek relief. We were about halfway through the closet when she noticed.
“Jason,” she began. I noticed her use of words and her tone. “Your eyes are telling me a story.”
Embarrassed, I admitted my thoughts.
“I’m so sorry! You’re wearing all her clothes and I miss her so much!” I said, each wording breaking.
“Was she your last?” she asked as she knelt before me.
I nodded.
“You haven’t taken any steps to move on,” she whispered.
I shook my head agreeing with her.
“Do I remind you of her?” she asked.
I nodded quickly.
She looked me over and seemed to think carefully about her next words.
“How can I help you?” she asked, holding my head in her hands.
“Don’t do that!” I said, pushing her hands away.
She released me and took a few steps back. She removed the clothes she was wearing and tossed it aside.
“I understand who and what I look like. I’m not afraid of sex, Jason.”
I looked up at her and shook my head as I told her, “You’re just a girl.”
She got on her knees in from of me and took one of my hands in hers. She turned it and pulled it toward her chest until I was cupping one of her breasts.
“I’m a grown woman now. I know it’s hard to come to grips with that, but you’re feeling it now.”
I gently squeezed her and felt my body respond again. I was seeing her as the woman I lost more than a year before that. She saw my appraisal of her in my eyes.
“You can have me,” she whispered to me.
I looked at her, my eyes pleading with hers to stop the madness before we went too far.
While one hand was holding one of mine to her chest, the other went to my face.
“I will enjoy it with you!” she whispered. “I can be the next step you need to take.”
Her hand traveled down my face, my neck, my chest, and went into my shorts. She took my dick in her hand and stroked it slowly. I was already hard, but I stiffened more in her hand.
“You do like me,” she whispered with a sly smile.
“I’ve loved you since you were born, and I will love you forever. You need to stop this if you will regret what is about to happen.”
I tried to warn her. I knew what was about to happen and I gave her a way out. Instead of taking the way out, she perpetuated it. She backed herself up to the side of the bed and pulled me by the dick to follow her. Once she was there, she hopped up onto the mattress and lay on her back. She opened her legs and prompted me.
“I’m not afraid of this,” she said, pulling the head of my cock toward her hole.
“What does this mean?” I asked her before I was ready to penetrate her.
“I know what I look like to you, Uncle Jason. I’ve loved you as I should have all my life, but I see what Auntie Kate saw in you and I would love to feel the physical embodiment of that even if it’s just once.”
That was all I needed to hear. I lined myself up and pushed gently inside her as I looked into her eyes. Her eyes widened as I pushed my head into her. She looked up at me with soft eyes that expressed her pleasure and longing.
“You feel so good,” she grunted, “I’m all yours!”
“You’re beautiful,” I replied as I watched her face light up as I slid deeper into her.
My comment was more of an observation of the situation than it was an instant sight of her. Her hands roamed her body as I entered her, and she took the invasion of her pussy well.
“What are you feeling?” she asked.
I almost wept at the question. She had always been more concerned with how others felt. She was a true empath. I decided to be honest about my answer.
“You feel amazing, but your body language is so much more than I could have asked for.”
Her eyes opened and she locked eyes with me.
“What do you mean?”
I pushed my cock all the way inside her and listened to her content sigh.
“The way you respond to a man having sex with you is unique and comforting.”
I worded it specifically to hear her response.
“You wanted to know if I would be repulsed by having sex with my uncle?” she asked, opening her eyes to observe my response.