(A/N: Just so everyone has a fair warning, while I wouldn’t exactly call this story an S&M story, there are definitely some strong S&M themes, such as domination and sadomasochism, so if these are not your cup of tea, you have been warned. Still here? Awesome! Enjoy!)
Donna let out a small sob as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The miserable creature who looked back at her only caused another wave of disgust. It wasn’t anything physical that caused her agony but something much deeper. On the surface, she knew she was a very attractive woman. She had wavy, long brown hair that contrasted beautifully with her pale complexion. Her face was usually very pretty when it wasn’t scrunched up as it was now. To the extent that she rarely used makeup. She’d probably have to put on some this morning just so it didn’t look like she’d been crying but that wasn’t the norm.
She forced herself to keep looking at her reflection as she steeled her courage. “Now… now you look here. This stops today. This has to stop. You know it’s wrong and this isn’t you. You’re… you’re a good person, so just… just stop fucking doing it, you stupid slut…
“Just walk in there… right in his office and tell him it’s over. It’s not hard! Why are you making this so goddamn hard?!” Donna sobbed again and paced around the bathroom unable to look at herself anymore. “Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! You’re a grown fucking woman so just act like it.”
Forcing herself to look at her reflection again, Donna faltered. “Yeah… fucking woman is the problem…” But then she scowled at the mirror. She didn’t have a choice. This was eating her up inside and she couldn’t take it anymore. “You can do this, Donna… You can do this…”
Taking a deep breath, Donna put on her ‘mask’. She was only able to let herself go that much because she was early to the office. She knew she’d need time to pump herself up and get out a few tears. It helped. She still felt like shit, but it was better than if she’d have just gone straight into his office without the prep.
‘You can do this…’
Donna cleaned herself off and took out the emergency makeup from her bag. The last thing she needed was for him to know she was crying. If he knew that and even began to put together that he was part of the reason, it would be over. She’d never be free. She’d just give in to her immorality and give up on the woman she wanted to be. The woman she has to be.
‘He’s a reasonable man.’
A different Donna stared back in the mirror. One who knew what had to be done. The mask was officially on.
‘You’ll feel so much better after you do this.’
Donna took a deep breath and gave herself a stern nod. She would feel better after she did this. It would probably be easy. She was building this up and it would probably be nothing. She’d just go in there, tell him it’s over, he would agree and that would be that. Easy-peasy. She could feel doubt in the back of her mind and her expression faltered for a second, but she fought it back. She had to do this. She had to.
“You got this.” She told herself as she left the bathroom. She actually rather liked being in the office early. It was quiet. Peaceful. Not to say that she didn’t like her coworkers. She liked them a lot, in fact, but she had to keep her mask up with them. There was only one person here she dropped it for and that had been a mistake. The other things she dropped later had only been the result of that initial moment of weakness.
Donna made a beeline towards the office door. This was like a Band-Aid. She just needed to rip it off and be done with it. The click-clack of her heels in the floor helped her focus. It was like background music urging her on.
‘You got this…’
She stopped at the office door, her heart practically beating out of her chest.
‘Come on… Come on! Don’t you dare turn around and go to your desk! Do this!’
Donna gently ran her fingers over the nameplate in front of the door.
Clifford Blake.
It brought a smile to her face. The door was only closed because the office wasn’t open yet. Other than that, it was always open for anyone. If it was closed, that meant he was either on a meeting call or with another employee. It warmed her heart to know that when he bought this place that he insisted on a building that was all on one level. He didn’t want the floors to end up in a hierarchy. They were all on the same level.
Donna suddenly snatched her hand back. The way she was touching his nameplate was becoming… inappropriate. She looked at her pale blue eyes reflected in the plate and reminded herself of why she was there. Taking another deep breath, Donna knocked on the door. “M… Mr. Blake?”
“…Donna?” His gravelly voice responded in surprise.
Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no! She could hear it! She could hear it in his voice! Just the way that he said her name! Those two short syllables! He was having a bad day! He was fethiye escort having a really bad day! She should go. She can do this some other time. Apologize for bothering him and leave. Say she’s feeling sick, and she needs to go home. Better yet, say her cat is feeling sick.
No…
He knows she doesn’t have a cat… Say that she got a cat! She got a cat and it’s sick! Poor, little thing! She has to go right away!
No…
She’d actually have to get a cat then to go along with the lie. She didn’t even like cats. Why was she thinking about getting a cat?
“Donna? I said you can come in.” He repeatedly, patiently. “Is everything okay?”
Donna bit her bottom lip. “Yes, Sir…” She forced herself to grab the doorknob and enter the office. She was officially at the point of no return.
Clifford, or Cliff as he insisted he be called, despite Donna’s refusal to do so, looked over his monitor and the stacks upon stacks of papers that littered his desk. He looked… tired. Despite Donna keeping on her mask, he clearly decided to leave his own down. Had she been anyone else, she would have been greeted with a smile and a ‘You’re early. How may I help you?’
“You’re early today.” Cliff sighed before looking beyond the stacks of papers. “How-… Donna, are you okay?”
Donna’s eyes widened. Apparently, her panic wasn’t as hidden as she thought. But she couldn’t help herself as she fiddled with the latch on his doorknob, keeping her distance. She looked over all the papers and then into his eyes. “Are you?”
‘No. No! This is not what you’re supposed to be doing!’ Donna mentally yelled at herself. ‘Yes, he looks like a sad little puppy right now but you know where this leads! You know! Why are you like this? Just tell him why you came in early! Tell him it’s over! It’s two goddamn words! Just say them!’
“No…” Cliff groaned, answering her question. “No, I am not okay. But I’m not going to burden you with my problems. Besides.” He motioned to the mountains of papers. “There’s a lot to do today.”
Donna’s eyes bulged again. “Those are all from the Pelonis account?!”
Cliff’s expression warped into a strained smile. “I know. Fuck me, right?”
As if realizing how the turn of phrase could be taken literally at the same time, Cliff and Donna locked eyes and smiled warmly at each other, the inside joke not needing to be said aloud.
‘Why are you smiling? Why the fuck are you smiling? Yes, his smile is infectious and fucking gorgeous, but you know what you’re smiling at right now, right? This isn’t what you’re supposed to be doing. Just do what you’re supposed to be doing! Say the words! Just say the words.’
“Do you need any help?” Donna asked, much to her brain’s dismay.
‘Great, Donna! Just fucking great. You’re such a doormat! What are you going to do if he says he does need help and unzips his pants? You know what you’re going to do, don’t you, you little slut? You’re going to drop to your knees, crawl over there and just-‘
“Would you?” Cliff asked, the wave of exhaustion clear on his face. “I know it’s a lot with what you already have to do today, but I have a shareholder’s meeting as well and I really need to-” Cliff stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He looked so overwhelmed. So… vulnerable. And Donna was the only one who ever got to see him like this. She wondered if even his wife got to see him like this.
“No problem, Mr. Blake.” Donna smiled as she officially entered the office and looked over the stacks for the ones she would need.
“I really wish you would call me Cliff.”
While the weariness was still there, so was a clear relief, and Donna had to admit that it was a rush for her to know she was the cause. “I think I already call you enough things I really shouldn’t, Sir…”
Cliff threw back his head into a loud laugh. It immediately drew Donna’s attention and caused her to smile back at him as he replied, “I guess you’re right. Even so… I’d love to hear you say my name like everyone else.”
Donna could feel herself turning bright red under his intense gaze and she quickly grabbed the papers. “I’m going to take these and go to my desk now, Mr. Blake.”
Cliff let out a small chuckle this time. “You’re so stubborn.”
‘If only that were true…’ Donna miserably mused to herself.
To Donna’s surprise, she felt the warmth of Cliff’s hand on her arm and found herself blushing anew. “Thank you, Donna. I… I really appreciate this. I appreciate you.”
Donna bit her bottom lip hard to control her reaction. His gaze could be so piecing to her sometimes. She could literally feel herself melting. If her hands weren’t full of really important papers right now… “Of course, Mr. Blake. Anytime.”
‘Anytime? Anytime?! You know full damn well that he wasn’t just talking about you helping with the project! This isn’t what you were supposed to do! Goddammit, Donna!’
Donna turned around and made her way escort fethiye to her desk, stewing in her failed attempt. At least she had plenty to focus on. This project was going to keep her busy all day. But that was fine. She’d just focus on this, wait for everyone to leave and then tell him tonight. Unless some of the other employees were able to convince him to go out for drinks. It didn’t happen often, but it did happen. Everyone here knew how hard he worked. And they all knew how hard he worked for them, specifically.
Cliff genuinely cared about the people who worked for him. He knew everyone’s names from her own to the janitors. They were all paid at least a living wage and had full time level benefits regardless of whether they were actually full time or not. They all loved him, and it was easy to see why. He earned it.
That’s what made this so difficult. If he was a manipulative asshole, then Donna would have been able to easily break it off with him. But he was so kind to her. And not just her. He was kind to everyone. They could come to him for anything. He genuinely wanted to help. He was one of the best people she knew.
‘He’s married.’
And that’s not even getting into the fact that he was an absolute physical specimen. He always wears expensive suits, which look yummy on him to begin with, but Donna was the only one in the office to know what he looked like naked. And what he looked like was completely mouthwatering. Just the thought of it had her fidgeting in her seat.
‘He has a wife!’
“Right…” Donna groaned outloud. She tried to focus on her work again. It was a battle the entire day to keep her thoughts professional. It helped a little once the others began to filter in and it became a normal workday like any other. Cliff’s door opened and the sounds of paper rustling, keyboards tapping, and murmured phone discussions and corporate jargon filled the area.
But even then, Donna knew it wasn’t a normal day. She still needed to break things off. She could be as conflicted about it all she wanted but by the end of today, their relationship needed to one of a CEO and his assistant with no more ‘benefits’. No more ‘late nights’. No more mindblowing-
‘Focus, Donna!’
Time ticked on as both a gift and a curse. A gift because she knew what needed to be done and a curse because she didn’t want to do it. Then that other voice began to chime in. Is this really hurting anyone? If his wife was treating him better, she wouldn’t have to do her job, right? Cliff was a very stressed out man. All Donna was doing was relieving that stress. She’s his assistant. She was assisting him. It made him feel better and more productive. Just this morning he was telling her how much he appreciated her for it.
But Donna absolutely loathed this voice. It would be so easy to give into it. But this isn’t about what’s easy. It’s about what’s right. Even if Cliff wasn’t married, he was still her boss. This was inappropriate on all levels. This was wrong. It needed to stop.
Even so, until it was done, her mind would just go back and forth with the possibilities until it was finally settled. That was why it had to be today. For good or ill, Donna just wanted to have some piece of mind. To go to sleep knowing she did the right thing.
Time moved on. The stack of papers was eventually sorted. Donna conversed with those who conversed with her. The Sun went down. People began to leave. That knot began to form in the pit of Donna’s stomach. It had been a long day. She was mentally and physically exhausted. She just wanted to go home, get some food and get some sleep. She looked at the door to Cliff’s office and then to the exit.
It would be so easy to just…
‘No! Just… no. Come on, Donna!’
Donna took a deep breath. The other employees were gone. The cleaners would be around in a few hours. Now was her time. After straightening up her desk, Donna felt a sense of déjà vu as she made her way to Cliff’s office again. The only difference from this morning was that his door was open. Donna still knocked though.
“Mr. Blake?”
“Donna… could you lock the door behind you, please?” Cliff gruffly asked without looking up.
‘No. No! Don’t you dare lock that door! Just refuse and say what you need to say! That’s all you have to-‘
Click.
Donna’s face immediately burned a bright crimson at her actions. As angry as she was with herself, there was the usual fluttering in her chest. A rush of excitement that washed away any tiredness. The door locking didn’t always mean something sexual would happen. In fact, most of the beginnings of this situation were anything but sexual.
It merely meant that Cliff needed the intimacy of it just being the two of them. Like with everything in the escalation of their relationship, it all began with a moment of weakness. He was overwhelmed. She had been the only one left in the office and he confided in her. They ended up having quite a bit fethiye escort bayan in common. Both raised by single parents and having a very strict relationship with them which they tried to fight against in their adulthood.
In fact, most of his stress stemmed from the fundamental differences in how he and his father saw the business. Cliff’s father saw business as business. Simple. Numbers and results. So all of Cliff’s efforts to make his company a family were in direct opposition to his own.
Donna began to fidget awkwardly as Cliff verbally relieved himself. He spoke of shareholders and the results that they wanted from him. The fact that the last person he could go about this was his father, who also was unfortunately the one who would know how to best deal with the problem. What frustrated Cliff the most was that despite the usual shaky start, their company had recently grown quite profitable. The problem is that they could be a lot more profitable if they let a few people go. If the benefits packages were more in line with the competition. If they were less picky about their clients. All the things that Cliff refused to do.
He formed this company to prove that you can have a successful company and treat your employees like people, not cogs in a wheel. But the more he tried, the more he realized that he could be wrong. He fought back and so did they, with neither side giving an inch. The problem was, without his father’s help, he needed them. Meanwhile, they could just invest in another company.
It was gutting him inside. And it wasn’t selfishness or pride that drove him to keep fighting. His father was loaded. He’d be fine. It was all of his employees that he was worried about. His compassion for them was becoming a double-edged sword.
And the more Cliff spoke, the more Donna could feel his pain. The other thing they both had in common was their empathy. Donna was never able to offer much in response to help him, but she wanted to desperately. It broke her heart to see someone try so hard to be a good person just for the world to smack them back down for it. If she knew anything about business, she’d offer him help in that regard, but his problems were just above her capacity. It’s what initially lead her to soothe his stress in… other ways.
‘Just listen…’ Donna ordered herself, as she bit her bottom lip, her own empathy beginning to gnaw at her insides. ‘It’s probably all he wants for now. Just let him talk and tell him after it’s done.’
Silence.
Donna began to panic. How long had it been quiet? She was only half listening! Did he realize? He must have! That’s why he stopped talking.
“I’m sorry…” Cliff murmured with a forced smile on his lips. Even with the false nature of it, the motion was so practiced that it was still a dazzling sight to behold. It wasn’t the first time that Donna mused about how her boss could easily be a model or an actor if he wished. His chiseled jaw and powerful features only wrapped up the package all the more. It was all Donna could do not to verbally whimper.
“I piled more work on you, kept you here late helping me out and even that isn’t enough for me.” Cliff continued with his train of thought. “You can go home, Donna. It isn’t fair that I keep leaning on you like this.”
“No!” Donna stammered, quickly dashing to the desk, leaving behind the small shield that the distance between them offered. “I… I was listening, Mr. Blake. I just… I wish I could help you. I wish I could do more than listen.”
Donna’s sincerity clearly touched Cliff as he reached across the desk to take her hands into his much larger ones. “Donna… trust me. Just being able to talk about this helps me so much more than you can imagine. Besides… you do help in other ways… On occasion…”
Donna’s eyes widened as she bit her bottom lip. Hard. This was it. This was the opening to talk about it. All she had to do was ignore his adorable, little smirk at his own comment.
She opened her lips, but then she noted Cliff suggestively patting his lap. Donna blushed profusely as she first looked down at his lap and then back up into his steely blue eyes. They were always so striking, especially against his dark hair. Donna was slowly crawling across his desk before she knew it.
Cliff’s gaze very quickly turned from one of exhaustion to one of excitement as his eyes ran over her sauntering form. He swiftly moved the things on his desk to the side to give her a clear path.
‘You haven’t done anything that can’t be undone…’ Donna scolded, the disconnect between her mind and her actions only growing wider when she lifted her skirt so that she could slide her body into a straddling position on top of him.
‘Even… even now… All you have to do is talk. It would be a little awkward to have this conversation literally sitting on top of his growing erection but it’s not impossible. Say something!’
Even in the elevated position she found herself in, Donna felt small. And while Cliff’s looming form had a lot to do with it, his presence impacted it a lot more. Donna could feel herself melting as she finally took her own advice and spoke up, “How can I help you, Daddy?”